Sweet Saturday

Be yourself and then you will find that people will love you for who you are 

and not who you are pretending to be. It sounds like an easy statement yet people are often preoccupied with being a certain way for likability.  As time progresses the true essence of their being becomes non-existent. What happens when you loose sight of your authentic self?

 

You rebuild.

 

This is what I have been doing for years now. Life's obstacles have made me go through a few cycles of who am I? I go through phases of shedding negative thoughts and blockages. Then I start to allow people in my life. I share myself openly. Then I hide and block them out. It seems like an ongoing cycle of not allowing others to meet the true me.

 

So What Now?

I recently heard a lecture on the Hay House World Summit about the Power Pose. It was the Tuesday after my vacation. In the lecture David R. Hamilton, PhD, stated people who practiced the power pose for 2 minutes a day felt better and where more open to the positive experiences life had to offer. He went as far as saying, they open themselves up to more social interactions which is important. According to studies we feel safest when we are connected to others because through evolution our body has learned safety comes in numbers. The bio-chemistry of the body evolved so that we operate better when we are connected with others and people with

 regular positive human contact live longer. 

 

Perfect Timing

 

This information came at a time when I was starting to shut down and hide after things just seemed to perfect. For example, during my vacation I met people from my hometown after thinking how much the place felt like my old hometown. A blue jay, (my sign for Gramps), kept on perching on trees and ledges, when I felt like, this is to good to be true. The blue jay reminded me to take it all in because it was true. When I thought of certain friends they would call or text, like immediately. It was all just flowing and it all seemed magical. I was ready to escape from people upon my return because when something is to good to be true...well I run. Only this time, the lecture I listened to through the "let the universe choose for you" button, it was right on. The best part was when Hamilton said something like: practice the wonder woman pose and you will notice the difference. Things and experiences will start to change in a positive way. I was shocked, it was the pose I practiced daily during my vacation and it was even captured in most of my pics. I was doing it without even knowing!!!

It was all flowing.

 

So YES, I have said it before, and YES, I will say it again.

 

I AM READY. LIFE BRING ME LOVE AND JOY.

 

I ACCEPT.

 

TRAIN HARD. SHED FAST. LIVE LONG.

 

NAMASTE.

 

 

 

Sweet Saturday

Being able to claim I gained weight back and declaring I am not afraid made all the difference this week. There were also various factors that came into play. 

1. #theworkout intensive requires a weekly check-in. I am honest and openly share my struggles.

2. Seeing a picture of me at 238 pounds last year and 238 pounds this year was encouraging. I focus on my triumphs and not my failures.

3.  The last cementing factor. I witnessed a horrible accident on Monday morning. It was a truck pulling out of a driveway. He took a risk and took a turn out. His slow movement makes me believe he doubted the move. He clipped a car that spun out and almost hit me. He cut a corner and came out loosing. My point: you can't cut corners.

So this week I kept track. I stuck to tracking and the outcome was a 5.4 loss.

Yay! Here's to staying strong!

Motivational Monday

Dream a little Dream.

There are so many emotions and feelings around tough mudder. I still cannot put it all into words without rambling. I expected to be able to blog away. Instead I'm here thinking of the best way to say it. Then I remember #1 on my list of lessons.

Some TM Lessons.

1. Don't overthink things.

2. Mental noise kills. 

3. Not everyone will be there when they said they would. You can't resent them. They have their own path to follow.

4. A friendly face goes a long way.

5. You can use your charisma and ask for help. Wait, I knew that. I have to be willing to accept it too.

6. Strangers can become friends. Let them in.

7. Just let go.

8. Everything is better when you're having fun.

9. Always do your best.

10. There are Angels out there.

11. I am worthy of someone else's help.

12. In life I go at my own pace. I am
only in competition with me.

13. Love and appreciate those who stay at your side. No matter your struggle. No matter your pain.

14. Trust others have good intentions.

15. Be willing to listen. Learn.

16. Encourage others. You matter too.

17. It takes a Village!

18. When you think you can't do something. Try again.

19. Don't quit when you're ahead.

20. Dig deep. You can go even further.

21. Stop pacing. Own your power! Yes it goes against 12! But explains 22.

22. Be flexible.

23. Push. Don't take the best of you to the grave. Let others see it now.

24. Jose really really loves me. I knew it before the challenge but him calling me his balsy wifey. A bonafide badass!!! That takes a big man! He really loves me for me! LOL

25. It ain't that serious. Jump in ... again!

26. Live the moment.

So go live. Be present. Shine big.

Motivational Monday

Yesterday was group hike day. This hike was a backwards hike. A backwards hike is when you start with the beautiful view at the height of the mountain. It also means you are challenged at the end of the hike as opposed to mid-hike. The group was smaller this time and I was able to spend one on one time with everyone. It was perfect because I had the opportunity to play with perspective just as I had planned.


Beauty

I started the hike by explaining the trail from the top. I also told everyone to take in the view because I wanted them to make a before and after comparison. I said, "the view will be the same but your perspective about what is around and below will change. Trust me and just take it all in you will appreciate it a whole other way after our hike." Then we started trailing ahead.

We each appreciated the beauty of the trail. The beautiful yellow flowers. The ocean and mountain tops. We laughed and had great conversation. We met the challenge and before we knew it we were at the top. I told them all to gaze out again and what I got was, "OMG you're right it does change. WOW! It is so much more beautiful".

The way I relate to this specific hike is ... You can get life's goodies handed to you. You may have beauty all around you but sometimes you do not appreciate it unless you work for it. There is something about how it may make you feel. Then and only then can you really appreciate the beauty with the depth your soul desires. Put it simply, sometimes hard work and meeting the challenge provides you with a new perspective that overfills you with joy. It is the feeling of accomplishment.

Sometimes you just need to get in the trenches and work on your challenge to really appreciate the journey. So just as it gets tough...keep going! Do not stop because the view on the other side ... can really surprise you. --- I must remind myself of this whenever I lose fuel. I say there is a reason for the curve ball. I must persist and remain grateful for there is an abundance of beauty around me.

Here's to keeping it going.

True Thursday

SHARING IS CARING

Three people shared their stories with me this week. They each shared about where they were in their journey. Some mentioned the transitions they have experienced and what they have learned about themselves in the process. One person touched on the difficulty of sharing but felt she needed to talk to me. The other shared about the avoidance of feeling pain and how food helped her numb it all. Then there was the share about life's unexpected changes and how to cope with it all. Each share ended with a big thank you for sharing and providing positivity.

What these three people did not know was I was aching too; questioning, fighting and having difficulty sharing. I was pushing to stay positive but feeling like I was failing. Then just as the light seemed dim, they appeared.

FEELING THE PAIN

Being sick is never fun. Not knowing what my body is doing can be frustrating and even builds anger. - Vertigo spins, dizzy spells, constant colds, fever days and nauseous moments take a toll. -They discourage me and make me seek comfort foods for "soothing". Bad habits creep in...Bread, lovely fluffy bread. Lemonade, sweet and tangy lemonade. "Papas"...mmmmm...give me some creamy "papas". Then my body craves good foods so I go back to good eating. But the back and forth and the tastes, here and there, ADD UP. They also send my body into confusion mode.

Mental games relating to fears about people invading my space and touching me inappropriately became real for me in February. He called it playful, I call it disrespectful and uninvited. Threats of slapping and boxing him for his unwarranted advances were made. He stopped and brushed it off as "friendly" men behavior. I called it, "unpleasant I am going to slap you the next time" behavior. It is this type of behavior that triggers something deep in my being. It puts me in a panic. It caused a down spiral effect and furthered my already frustrated and angered state of mind. It brought mindfulness to a halt.

Daily stressors from work and family life only add to the mix. Not being able to voice what I am thinking or making errors sends me into a frenzy. I like to manage things and plan. With time I have been able to cope with unforeseen changes with flexibility. However, when I am the cause of the error or I am ignored, well I do not do so well with it and over think the correction process. I seek balance by surrounding myself with positive affirmations. In February, my affirmations were not enough. It all took a toll and the negativity added up. It added up to a 10 pound gain in a month! Yes, "taste" eating, fear from past triggers, and stress from day to day living put a 10 pound dent on my goal. My light was dim.

THE AFTERMATH: FOCUS ON LOVE

Regardless of how ill I felt. I kept going. I kept going to workout when I could. I stayed active for as long as I could. It resulted in a little over 29 hours of activity. While I was at home making myself wrong for not doing more...I did not consider I was doing as much as I could. Old habits will creep with ease and so can disease. While I may not know the cause of this cycle of vertigo. I can do my best to manage it. The doctor may not be able to provide insight to the cause but I can search for alternatives to create balance.This means sticking to clean eating and soothing with other things like music, reading, yoga, a massage etc. I practice self-love with lovable actions. I have done it before. I can do it again.

Remaining Mindful can be tough when I am trying to forget acts that are part of my past. Forgetting the past is not possible. Forgiving past acts is doable. Remaining rooted in my being and connecting with my inner strength is key. People's behavior will not impact the core of my being and I manage this with mindfulness. - I cannot escape with food. I cannot escape my power. There is no escaping me. - Instead I choose to focus on the support system I have created. The people who share their stories and tell me I inspire their journey. I focus on all the good in my life and remain grateful for the positive opportunities that surround me. I choose to focus on the bigger picture : a world full of endless positive possibilities and love.

We all have trials. We all have stressors. We also have a choice to deal with those negative occurrences with grace. I know I have grown leaps and bounds in the last five years. I also know I must remain humble and grounded for I do not know what my future holds. I create light around me and no matter the struggle I tell myself it will get better. It all works out for my higher good. Above all I choose to lift those around me too.

LIGHT

I need it. So I come clean to create anew. I remain true to the goal of a healthy me. I am human and share to bring light to you. Together we all make things much brighter.

Here's to making a positive imprint in our  life's journey. Much love to you.

Motivational Monday

February my Failure Month; this is what I called it in my head. I was sick for most of the month and did not workout for weeks at a time. I did not train as planned for the tough mudder. I was feeling down. I ate comfort foods then I juiced for nutrition. I sought balance while I was going haywire. My inner workings were all over the place. I made myself wrong and was angry when all I needed was some self-love. It was a month of self-criticism and illness. 

Then today I get this via email. I worked out 29:11:51 hours!!! WHAT?!? If I average it out it is more than an hour a day! AND I burned a little over 891 calories a day...not bad! Was it less than my average amount? Yes! Is it acceptable for how I was feeling...YES! 

My point is this...February is gone. March is here. I can hold on to how I did not do things the way I planned. I can hold on to how I do not look or feel how I am supposed to feel. I would much rather focus on what I did accomplish and what I will accomplish today. I invite you to do the same. 

Make the change one day at a time. One pound at a time. 

Here's to focusing on the good things!

Motivational Monday

Central Garden at the Getty Center Museum. November 9, 2014

Letting Go

Today as I got ready for work I took a long stare in the mirror. I noticed the changes in my face. I became present to my feelings and all of the fears and doubts I have about my journey. Then I stated today's affirmation: I let go of all fear and doubt and life become simple and easy for me.  

The positive affirmation allowed me to just be present to joy which completely set me up for what came next.

Today's News

I received the best e-mail ever. I received my lab results back. The day I have been waiting for is finally here. As of today I am no longer in the diabetes zone and I am med free! YES!!!

This is the most exciting news I have received in a long time. It fuels and motivates me to go for the ultimate goal. I am in love with myself and there is nothing wrong with me for doing so. I honor myself, my body and my health.  I no longer feel like I committing suicide by making poor health choices. I am free.

If you have a goal related to fitness, weight loss and health then I say: stay on target. Even if you stray a little...get right back to it. If you ever gave up ... get right back up. Get out there and put in some work for what you really want because it is never to late and baby steps count! 

Have a wonderful Monday and PLAY HARD!

Motivation

Just when I thought there wasn't much of a difference my trainer shares about me on Instagram. 

The acknowledgement also came at a time I was frustrated about not being able to work-out. My vertigo was at all time high today so slight movements sent me on loops. His share reminded me not to give up and to keep my eye on the prize. I will get to my goal weight...no matter the obstacle.

To staying strong.

I'm a size 18!

All the hard work is paying off. I'm down another size. I haven't worn a size 18 in 11 years!

I'm happy, motivated and proud. Tonight I will celebrate with some pool time and pole class.

To achieving goals.