Motivation Monday

The people who surround me and I have the same mindset about health and fitness. They often motivate me.

FOOD

Food is my largest obstacle. It has been a way to soothe pain and mask sadness. It allows me to escape to a different place with a bite. Or so I thought.

SATURDAY

I had my cheat meal for lunch. It was more of cheat items; sweet potato fries and chocolate gelato. I was content and was sure I was going to be able to manage the rest of the weekend.

SUNDAY

We went to the Santa Anita race track and sat in the lounge that offered free buffet.  I was making all the right choices;  carrot and celery sticks,  no alcohol,  salad but then came the wings. I had 6 total and my stomach was in pain.

I thought that was enough but oh no it was hot so I had a cherry icee and later a chocolate shake. This is where it all shifted for me. 2 sips into my shake. I realized I did not want it. Better yet I did not like it. It was no longer providing that joyful feeling I associated with chocolate shakes. Instead I was feeling the uncomfortable feeling of over doing it.

Aftermath

My largest motivator in life is my health. Eating certain things occasionally is okay. Going beyond the occasional taste/bite is just ludacris when I know it's going to impact me negatively in the long run.

The best part is I have complete freedom over what I did and did  not fall into the pattern of negative self-talk. Instead I chose to stop because of the heightened level of self-love.

Here is to a beautiful Monday full of love and self-care. Make good choices.

Remain coachable

YAY!

I'm starting week 3 of diet bet and I'm 51% there! I have 14 days to loose 4.8 lbs. Keeping track of my meals has helped a great deal. I will be honest in saying there have been occasions when I take the pic, start eating and then...add a second serving, whether it is a scoop, a spoon or a taste...I am going to start taking pics. Not to be rigid but to truly reflect everything that is going into my body. 

Activity

I only complete 5 workouts this week. This is pretty slow for me and I find myself dragging during the workouts. I find myself going through the motions with less UMPH. I am still doing the best I can and logging them as I go. 

Meals

This is where I am most focused now. I practice mindful eating and have follow restrictive-eating a few times. I just make sure I get back on the horse as quickly as possible. Sometimes even before the meal is out. I usually share all of my meals on facebook and instagram but I am posting them all here so you can see what helped me loose 2.6 lbs this week.

Have a great Friday and remember...it is not about how long it takes. It is about enjoying the ride and being healthy.

Training Tuesday

Meals we're better yesterday.  I'm focused on making good choices. I know that is the only way I will loose weight.

Activity was nonexistent yesterday.  I went to get my knee checked and I have a couple more visits to go before diagnosis. Doc said to go light before then. So the workout schedule I created for June with double work outs is out the door. I will do one workout per day and post regular updates. 

I encourage you to create a routine too. Here is a HIIT workout you could do from home.

True Thursday

The process is as hard or easy as we make it. Yes there are outside forces and occurrences we cannot avoid. But in the end it is what we will do in light of those trials that will make all the dif.

FACTS.
I have not worked out since Saturday.
I feel bloated and like a rolly Polly.
I start to feel down.
I talk myself into feeling good.
I tell myself this shall pass.

Today's Action
I will do at least 20 minutes of activity today.
I will eat oatmeal for breakfast.
I will eat a spinach salad for lunch.

What is your mission today? Did you fall of the horse? Well saddle up and figure out 3 positive things you will do for yourself today! Heck just choose one if three sounds like to many. Have the courage to take the steps even though you don't know where it will lead you.

Trust yourself and stay magical.

True Thursday

SHARING IS CARING

Three people shared their stories with me this week. They each shared about where they were in their journey. Some mentioned the transitions they have experienced and what they have learned about themselves in the process. One person touched on the difficulty of sharing but felt she needed to talk to me. The other shared about the avoidance of feeling pain and how food helped her numb it all. Then there was the share about life's unexpected changes and how to cope with it all. Each share ended with a big thank you for sharing and providing positivity.

What these three people did not know was I was aching too; questioning, fighting and having difficulty sharing. I was pushing to stay positive but feeling like I was failing. Then just as the light seemed dim, they appeared.

FEELING THE PAIN

Being sick is never fun. Not knowing what my body is doing can be frustrating and even builds anger. - Vertigo spins, dizzy spells, constant colds, fever days and nauseous moments take a toll. -They discourage me and make me seek comfort foods for "soothing". Bad habits creep in...Bread, lovely fluffy bread. Lemonade, sweet and tangy lemonade. "Papas"...mmmmm...give me some creamy "papas". Then my body craves good foods so I go back to good eating. But the back and forth and the tastes, here and there, ADD UP. They also send my body into confusion mode.

Mental games relating to fears about people invading my space and touching me inappropriately became real for me in February. He called it playful, I call it disrespectful and uninvited. Threats of slapping and boxing him for his unwarranted advances were made. He stopped and brushed it off as "friendly" men behavior. I called it, "unpleasant I am going to slap you the next time" behavior. It is this type of behavior that triggers something deep in my being. It puts me in a panic. It caused a down spiral effect and furthered my already frustrated and angered state of mind. It brought mindfulness to a halt.

Daily stressors from work and family life only add to the mix. Not being able to voice what I am thinking or making errors sends me into a frenzy. I like to manage things and plan. With time I have been able to cope with unforeseen changes with flexibility. However, when I am the cause of the error or I am ignored, well I do not do so well with it and over think the correction process. I seek balance by surrounding myself with positive affirmations. In February, my affirmations were not enough. It all took a toll and the negativity added up. It added up to a 10 pound gain in a month! Yes, "taste" eating, fear from past triggers, and stress from day to day living put a 10 pound dent on my goal. My light was dim.

THE AFTERMATH: FOCUS ON LOVE

Regardless of how ill I felt. I kept going. I kept going to workout when I could. I stayed active for as long as I could. It resulted in a little over 29 hours of activity. While I was at home making myself wrong for not doing more...I did not consider I was doing as much as I could. Old habits will creep with ease and so can disease. While I may not know the cause of this cycle of vertigo. I can do my best to manage it. The doctor may not be able to provide insight to the cause but I can search for alternatives to create balance.This means sticking to clean eating and soothing with other things like music, reading, yoga, a massage etc. I practice self-love with lovable actions. I have done it before. I can do it again.

Remaining Mindful can be tough when I am trying to forget acts that are part of my past. Forgetting the past is not possible. Forgiving past acts is doable. Remaining rooted in my being and connecting with my inner strength is key. People's behavior will not impact the core of my being and I manage this with mindfulness. - I cannot escape with food. I cannot escape my power. There is no escaping me. - Instead I choose to focus on the support system I have created. The people who share their stories and tell me I inspire their journey. I focus on all the good in my life and remain grateful for the positive opportunities that surround me. I choose to focus on the bigger picture : a world full of endless positive possibilities and love.

We all have trials. We all have stressors. We also have a choice to deal with those negative occurrences with grace. I know I have grown leaps and bounds in the last five years. I also know I must remain humble and grounded for I do not know what my future holds. I create light around me and no matter the struggle I tell myself it will get better. It all works out for my higher good. Above all I choose to lift those around me too.

LIGHT

I need it. So I come clean to create anew. I remain true to the goal of a healthy me. I am human and share to bring light to you. Together we all make things much brighter.

Here's to making a positive imprint in our  life's journey. Much love to you.

33. Be Present.

Day 9

I will appreciate the people with whom I am eating and try hard to be present and truly listen to what they are saying rather than just planning my response. If I am eating alone, I'll notice my thoughts and let them flow without judgment or necessarily action.

32. Mindful Eating Closure.

Day 10

I will pay attention to the food I have eaten and notice how it affected my mood and my energy. If I don't like the way I feel, I will not berate myself with negative self-talk, but will rather note the feeling and remind myself before eating that food again in the future. If I feel good, I will note that, too, and be grateful for that experience.

Today I Shine.

34. RISE AND SHINE.

I woke up acknowledging me. RISE and SHINE!

Day 8 of Mindful Eating

Before grabbing a snack to eat, I will ask myself, Am I really hungry for food? or Am I hungry for something else? And Is this the best quality of food available to me?

Food

I had the late night munchies and was ready to go for the crackers and cookies as a snack. Then I thought about the mantra for the day and stopped myself. I had two glasses of water and went to bed instead. YUM!

Activity

I completed my first 4 days of scheduled exercise. I did not do the jogging portion on either day but added yoga to every morning. Working on building the schedule. 

To living!

35. Perspective.

Day 7 of Mindful Eating 

I will try to notice when I am about 80% full rather than 100% full and stop eating at that point. I will trust, from experience, that with the food I have eaten so far, I will be full shortly and if I continue, I'll move from satisfied to stuffed.

Activity

"I'm not allowed out of the house without first completing PiYo!" -- Yep, that's what made me get up and work-out this morning. It's strange how I fight the work-outs in my head and find excuses but once I'm doing it and I'm done...I feel AWESOME! I'm also -- yes, I'm doing it again -- going to start a squat challenge in September. I shared the link on facebook and I have a couple friends who accepted the challenge. Yay!

Reflection

I struggle because I want the drama. I say it is hard but once I'm in to it, once I jump in...it is easy. My body knows exactly what it wants and I have all of the tools to reach success. It is mind over matter.

To jumping in!

36. Cravings.

Day 6 of mindful eating

I will pause periodically to check in with my belly. Am I full? Am I thirsty? Is this food satisfying me?

Gimmie some greens!

I craved nothing but greens today. So I had a vegetarian meal for lunch : portobello mushroom skewers,  cucumber and tomato salad, roasted vegetables and quinoa. For dinner I had what was on the weeks menu but added a salad to satisfy my veggie crave. 

Activity

I've done my daily PiYo and have added yoga to both days. I did not complete my scheduled mile jog. I know I did my best today and I'm letting it be. 

To making improvements and getting out of my head. 

37. Direction.

Day 5

I will eat my food sitting down at a table. Not in the car. Not in front of the TV. Not standing by the fridge.

Action

Today's mindful eating exercise made me avoid over eating.  Always a plus.

To finding the path.

38. Planning.

Day 4 of mindful eating training. 

I will put my fork down between bites and take 1 to 3 deep breaths before picking it up again.

Meal Planning for Week 08/25

Action

I forgot at to put my fork down at one point while having breakfast and lunch.I recalled once I thought about the texture and crunch in each bite. In the end I felt good about my choices and meals. 

I also planned my dinner menu for the week which will include plenty for lunches. 

To filling meals. 

39. Making it.

Day 3 of mindful eating training

I will chew my food slowly, concentrating on taste and texture. I will pay attention to the crunchiness, creaminess, and flavor of what I am eating.

-- the effects -- 

We went to a diner for dinner. I ordered my usual, a turkey dinner, thinking I will eat half. As I ate I thought of the statement above.  The mashed potatoes became too buttery and the green beans were not crunchy enough.  I craved a different type of food. I was satisfied with a lot less than half of my portion and I look forward to a nice berry salad for breakfast and green salad for lunch tomorrow. We'll see about dinner. ;)  

To craving health. 

40. Today or yesterday? 8/22.

Mindful Eating Training Day 2

Before taking the first bite, I will take a moment to think about how grateful I am to have this delicious food available for me.
I ended my day at disneyland.  It was a food success: no churro, no turkey leg, no ice cream, half of a serving of clam chowder and pineapple. Yay!

Activity

Since I'm already doing the PiYo exercises I figured I would sign-up for the Beach Body Challenge and get my 60 day t-shirt. Done and Done.

Inspiration & Jump Starts

Having positive people around me is key. Every once in awhile I get a recommendation to read a book, article or movie. Well last night I watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead . The movie was informative and it inspires me to be active and eat micro nutrients to be healthy. I need to consult my doctor before I start a juicing cleanse but I will be looking at the possibility soon. First I will complete my mindful eating and then see where I am. I do not want to overwhelm myself to exhaustion like I tend to...most of the time. 

To being patient and taking it day by day.

41. Mindful Eating. Active Body.

Back-Track

After days of not tracking meals, not counting calories and not monitoring exercise I come to this conclusion: it does not become easier. But this is not about easy or hard, wrong or bad. It is simply about what I truly want for myself and my life. HEALTH.

I loss sight of my goal and went for what was easy. The unhealthy meals, the skipped work-outs and before I knew it the bad habits creeped back in. I questioned if it was the fear of my new body. I thought maybe it was the praise I received from so many people on my 100 pound loss.  Then I questioned my accomplishments when I would exercise in new circles where I was the "fat" one in the group. Where people questioned my ability to do certain movements or exercises. My old way of thinking, "a cookie or a blood pressure pill", was no longer working.

The Gain

I skipped a month worth of meetings at weight watchers. I went back three weeks ago and I had a gain...then two weeks ago I had another gain. It was starting to show but I kept on going with unregulated eating. On Saturday 08/16, BAMN 233 POUNDS - a total 15 pound GAIN. I did not fall into guilt or hate mode. Instead I simply looked in the mirror and stated the obvious: This is not what I want for myself or my life.

Behavior

I'm  responsible for applying the behavior and habits that will allow me to reach my goals. I want to be off medication by my birthday. I'm done with thinking and thinking about it over and over again. My statements won't completely make the change. The change comes when I STOP all of this thinking and ACT. Walk the talk.

Implementation

1. ) Food has 80% to do with weight loss and so my attitude about food needs some adjusting. Today I started my MINDFUL EATING TRAINING .

Today's habit for my eating routine was : "I will do my best to start each meal with some deep breaths and pause to become fully present. I will pay attention to the colors and smells of my food and think about how it made it to my plate."

2. ) I'm following a work-out schedule I found through a google search. No more make-ups and skips. I'm just following the schedule below as a must. I will add  favorites or bonuses like ROAR and Yoga as time permits.

From Blog Life by Ky

3. ) Everything I need is already within me. I believe I can do this and I am doing it for self-love. 

To living the journey.