My reasons for not blogging daily...

I'm working.....

I'm not really blogging but I'm really working.

This is where I am today. I'm working out regularly and currently working on healthier eating. I'm cooking more do I can control the calorie count and to make sure I have the proper nutrition. Hyped and focused. 

I'm here. I'm strong. I'm pushing.

I've been working hard and writing less. I've also started to look at areas where I can make improvements and changes. I still have bad days and good days. But now I work out on the hard days too and I keep my eye on the prize. 

Trusting the process was important this month since I was disappointed in last months results. So here are the stats:

Heaviest: 318

Weight on 6/26: 269.2

Weight on 10/01: 250.6

Fat percentage on 07/01: 46%

Fat percentage on 10/04: 22.3%

Goal: 17.2%

I am so happy I kept going and I'm feeling great about my results. It reminds me to stay committed even when I'm not motivated. Keep moving and keep pushing. 

Working hard

I'm still keeping the pace. I'm down to 252 lbs and I am happy! Happy because I think that with this same dedication I will be able to meet the weight loss goal I set for my birthday. I just need to stay committed. 

Doing it! 

I'm still here.

And I'm following my regular routine. 

FOR THE WIN

I lied on 09/08/13. I wasn't done with my binge. I did not start the fit4fall challenge with the rest of  the group. Instead I ate the things I wanted in moderation and also continued to feel sorry for myself. My state of mind has been negative but I must thank those in the fit4fall challenge group who have posted positive thoughts and accountability posts. Each time I see them I start to think I can again. I'm not okay with feeling sorry for myself. Not to mention that I am 30 days away from my photo shoot!!! I also weighed myself this morning and I had a weight loss of 1.3 lbs. It is strange but it also makes me think I was probably having an off week when I weighed myself the last time. The point is It is not time to give up because I haven't reached goal!

With that said, I started my morning with tea, egg whites and wheat toast. The employees at my local trimana know it as "my usual" and they all excalimed they missed me when I went in this morning. I worked out on Monday for a couple hours but nothing since. I was crazy sore on Tuesday and Wednesday. My trainer cancelled yesterday so it was perfect for some naughty in-n-out. HA! It was good but not as good as I feel after an awesome work out and the right healthy food. I will be sure to work out today and post my first accountability sometime tonight or tomorrow. GAME FACE ON!!! ROAR!

*** WORK-OUT UPDATE ***
I danced for an hour with a total of 896 calories burned.

Trusting the process.

I have been on a binge since Wednesday. After each meal or snack I'd say this is the last one. However, I kept at it. Eating what I wanted with no tracking of calories. I also skipped work outs. I have been to lazy and uncommitted for more. Why? Because when I weighed and measured my fat % on the first of the month, I found out there was no change! None. Zilch. Nada. 

At first I kept pumping myself up trying to remind myself of my weight loss triumphs and achievements. I was trying not to over think instead I did just that and I quickly disregarded it all; the additional size I went down, how much thinner my arms look, how much my waist is slimming or the large amount of compliments I get daily. 

I just shut down and for five days I lived in disappointment, discouraged and complete gluttony. While I said each day was the last...it wasn't. I kept at it. I knew I was starting the fit4fall challenge tomorrow. So part of me excused it with that and the other part of me knew I was just cheating. The guilt was fueling my shame which in turn caused me to eat again. The over eating cycle.

Well. I'm not feeling sorry for myself because I'm allowed to be human. I'm done making myself wrong. Instead I'm getting up, dusting off, and pushing forward. Acknowledging  the behavior is the first step to being able to make a change.

There is nothing wrong, i'm not bad and i'm simply accepting the process. I'm moving forward and I'm pushing for the size 16 by 10/12. Declared. It's time for change.

I'm a size 18!

All the hard work is paying off. I'm down another size. I haven't worn a size 18 in 11 years!

I'm happy, motivated and proud. Tonight I will celebrate with some pool time and pole class.

To achieving goals. 

Reality hit.

If I stopped bogging it is because I became overwhelmed with the amount of  posts and sharing. Not like, good or bad, right or wrong. It was more about I'm doing to much and I need to reset. Especially since my goal benchmark is coming up. I will share my stats next week when it's fat percentage time. Oh-oh. 

There are a few visible differences in the pic and its been 6 weeks. 

To positive outcomes. 

I'm still working at it.

I'm still actively working out and eating healthy. I haven't kept my special editions up or blogged because I'm working it! 

To more updates. 

WOI-hump day

Work out Wednesday ended with a Bang! Tonight was weight training night. It was an hour of a consistent amount of sets with very few breaks in between. 

Then a picnic at the observatory to view the blue moon. My brother prepared grilled salmon, salad, quinoa and grilled chicken wings. I had just the right amount of food and had a 130 calorie sorbet to finish the night off. 

To awesome hump days!

Tasty Tuesday

Today was a hardworking fun filled day. My friend and I were able to hang out. It isn't often we get to because of our off schedule. So she took the dance class with me and we ran errands. We looked for a sushi place but ended up at Marie Callender's. okay? 

Comfort food=not healthy. I wanted my usual, a turkey dinner. Then I thought a salad but I saw the calories right on the menu and behold the turkey dinner had less calories! So I was about to order when I saw the low calorie options. I had a 600 calorie rosemary chicken breast with steamed veggies  and steamed potatoes. I had half of the potatoes to have a quarter of the garlic toast. I drank my usual iced tea unsweetened with a lemon wedge. 

I was well below my daily since I had my usual breakfast; 3 hard boiled eggs (I eat the egg white only) and wheat toast with a little butter. For lunch I had a 2oz steak salad with lemon cilantro dressing. 

To making it work. 

Fun Friday

I did not work out today. I over slept and had plans for the night. Though I had no real desire of going out due to being ill. I had promised my younger cousins I would take them out. 

I decided to test the waters. It wasn't all positive but there were some good moments. We cruised up PCH and had dinner at Neptunes Net. I ordered the clam chowder and garden salad. Not the healthiest choice but I got so full with the clam chowder I didn't get to the salad. Surprising! 

Then we went to the sand mountain. My intention was to climb it since I didn't work out. Instead I had to stop because of how I was feeling. I cut our night short soon after. 

It was still nice to see the ocean and I did not get tired while going up the mountain. I stopped because of how I felt in general. The whole incident was frustrating and hopeful. I can't remember the last time I went up the mountain. I felt like I could this time and if I didn't I was going to see how far or how long.  So as soon as my lady days are over I'm going to make a day out of it. I will head to the top with a bag in case I need breaks. Not long ones because I'm going to time myself but I will also be prepare just in case. As a reward I will have a salad at neptunes net, yes I said salad and I mean it. 

To building strength. 

------- I had a mini-work out before editing and posting--------

Work Out Information (WOI)

Thursday: Yoga, 45-60 min.cardio and Pole Dancing 

 

I did not wake up early enough to do Yoga. I skipped it. My regular AM Yoga routine is 20 minutes with a few poses I add. The DVD is 15 minutes. 

I completed my cardio at the gym after work. I was really sluggish and I did not have my normal "power" during the work out. My highest RPM was 87 and it is usually about 112. No matter how hard I pushed it wasn't enough. The elliptical machine was on fat burn mode and I did better there. 

I was not completely satisfied with my work out but I thought I should listen to my body and maybe I'm pushing too hard. Shortly thereafter I found out I I had started my lady days. Boys if you're there sorry but it happens! My point is my lady days are hard because of my condition. I usually have to work from home and am pretty home bound for a couple days during the cycle. So going forward if I write about being "ill", it is related to my condition.

I still had pole scheduled for 8:30P. I was going to be a no show for pole because I was scared about going to class while on my lady days. I went and figured if at any point I need to leave, well, I will do just that. The pole studio I go to is Allure Pole Dance & Fitness. They have two locations in the Los Angeles area. Any interested ladies could buy this current deal on groupon. I was concerned but kept on thinking, "participate". The class starts with a dance routine, then we stretch, do floor work, and strengthening excercises for about 15-10 minutes. This is followed by pole instruction and practice. I felt more ease as I got closer to the end of class. When I got home I realized  I got my first bruise! Which in pole means you're progressing! HAA 

To a good day.

Tips Thursday

I'm not counting the days anymore since I'm in it for the long haul.

For Tips Thursday I'm focusin on snacks. I have a variety of healthy snacks like watermelon, apples, pears, grapes, berries, cucumber, celery, greek yogurt and unsweetened tea. My favorite has to be what I call my desk combo.

The desk combo is water, tea, a cup of grapes and "the fruit of the day". I drink about 25-35 oz of water in a work day. One to two cups of green tea unsweetened. The cup of grapes are there for the week. Usually to avoid the candy and chocolate dishes when I walk around the office. So if I walk around and I really want a chocolate I come to my office pop in a couple grapes and the sweet taste kills the craving. The fruit of the day is there for when the grapes just doesn't cut it. It works!

The thing about grapes is there are a lot of varieties and I have been trying more and more of them. Like the cotton candy grapes, sweet surrender, sweet celebration and witch finger grapes. I usually have the less common varieties at home so it taste different then what I eat at work. I usually have 1/2 a cup for sitting at home.

To trying a new type of grape.

Day 31. For the LOVE of Birthdays & NEW Workout Wednesday.

My Birthday is in 60 days. I have declared in the past that my goal is to get down to 200lbs. This is largely due to doctors orders and to try to get pregos. I hope to continue an active lifestyle while pregnant and continue my weight loss journey to 145lbs post pregnancy and delivery. --- So that is the big picture.

But what is really motivating me now? What is the “mini-goal” before the 58 lbs.? Well, that’s what I’m sharing about today. The mini-goal is to look as good as possible, even as a plus-size woman, for a pin-up photo shoot I have scheduled the day before my birthday. I want to look as good as possible but I will do it no matter my size. A big part of this process is self-love and self-acceptance. At the end of the day, I love the woman I am today and it is why I am working on getting healthy. My mini-goal is listed below:

My Mini-Goal to reach by 10/12

Weight: 240 lbs.

Body Fat Percentage: 30% body fat.

Current Stats

Weight: 258 lbs.

Body Fat Percentage: 40.3%

In order to achieve this I need to work out harder, plan more meals, stop drinking alcohol and limit my outings during the week. I will remain flexible and stop myself when I am being too rigid and/or when my body needs to rest.

Work Out Information

Current work outs

• Burning at least  700 calories a day.
• Activities include: stationary bike, elliptical, yoga, dance, and callanetics.
• I allow my body to rest when necessary. Usually due to illness.

New Work Out Schedule

• Burning at least 700 calories a day.
• Activities include: stationary bike, elliptical, yoga, dance, weight lifting, and callanetics.
• I will be following a daily work out schedule through the end of this month.  
• Monday: Yoga, 45-60 min.cardio, Callanetics and Pole Dancing
• Tuesday: Yoga and Dance Class (choreographed dance)
• Wednesday: Yoga, 15 min. Cardio, and Weight Training.
• Thursday: Yoga, 45-60 min.cardio and Pole Dancing
• Friday: Yoga, Body Blast, 15 min. Cardio, and Weight Training.
• Saturday: Yoga, Callanetics, Pole Dancing and 45-60 min. cardio*(Cardio Optional ) *
• Sunday: Body Blast, 15 min. cardio, and meditation.
• I allow my body to rest when necessary. Usually due to illness. 

I will be sharing work out details on each day for the next week. I will also include details about my weight training on what is now WORKOUT WEDNESDAY. On Wednesday’s I will be meeting with a trainer that will provide a weight lifting work out that I will repeat on my own each Friday and Sunday. I will share today’s work out information on Friday when I write about the work out details for the day. 

To Good Planning.

**LATE POST DUE TO DETAILED PLANNING**

 

Day 30. Recipe Tuesday.

Today is recipe Tuesday and I'll be cooking Spicy Garlic Lime Chicken but I will not be using any butter like the recipe calls. I will be serving it with a salad of mixed greens (recipe below) and roasted garlic and olive oil couscous . I use the recipe on the box for the couscous but add lightly sauteed zucchini and tomato for a more filling side dish.

Strawberry Mixed Greens Salad and Poppy Seed Dressing.
6 cups fresh mixed greens
1 pint strawberries, hulled and sliced
1/4 cup sliced almonds, toasted
half a small red onion, thinly sliced
poppy seed dressing (recipe below)
Poppy seed Dressing Ingredients:
1/2 cup avocado oil (or any oil, such as olive oil)
3 Tablespoons apple cider vinegar
2 Tbsp. honey
1 Tbsp. poppy seeds

I will add pictures of the meal once I cook tonight.

--------addition----------

1. There is an official name change since when I asked my brother and gf to come back next week they said, "heeey tasty Tuesday instead of Taco Tuesday!" 

2. I need to prep more. For example I need to make sure I have all my ingredients for the chosen recipes. Today an old pantry item or some sad looking strawberries.The strawberry mixed greens salad became the pear and plum mixed greens salad. The lack of poppy seeds made me use a berry vinaigrette. 

Everything else was great including the wine for my guest and the blueberry green iced for me. 

To good food. 

Day 29. Challenge.

This whole process is a challenge and I keep pushing. I did NOT wake up at 4:30A for my regular yoga and cardio routine. I told myself if I don't do it in the morning then I have to do it after work at the Citi Plaza 24. I HATE that gym. It challenges my comfort level. Challenge met.

I noticed while on the bike that my heart rate was pretty steady and not like in the past. I added resistance and also did more elliptical training. I was real close to quitting but I kept on pushing. Challenge met. 

Then I got home with an hour and a half to spare before dance class. I took a nap and overslept. I was going to call and say I can't make it because I really didn't want to go. Instead I pushed myself and thought 5-8 min. late isn't ideal but not that bad either. I went and had a blast sweating. Challenge met. 

To accomplishing small, big and every other type of challenge.

Day 28. YES!

I had a breakthrough. I went to the gym while on a getaway. It was nice to finally get a good sweat. Accomplishing the goal early also set the tone for the day. I felt energized and happy.

To ongoing breakthroughs.

Day 27. I miss you.

I've learned a few things in the last 28 hours. 

1. I can easily make healthy choices. 

2. I can just as easily make bad choices.

3. There will be times when the "bad" choices are necessary. It is part of the learning curve. 

Friday night dinner was easy because there were healthy options that fit exactly what I wanted. Green enchiladas in a tomatillo sauce. I missed the cheese, and refried beans. I ate some off of my hubby's plate and took most of his sour cream to top my enchiladas. I ate my cole slaw with lime dressing. At some point the hubby pointed and laughed because I cut the garnish lettuce to have more greens. The agave margarita was a skinny cocktail. But I didn't drink it. I realized I've had to many acid based foods and my stomach was kind of acting up. 

Today was a whole other type of scenario. I had a healthy breakfast. "Linner" not so much. I went for it! I also didn't work out the way I wanted. We walked a total of about 2.5 miles but I calculated it as less of a calorie burn since it was a slow leisure walk. 

THE OUTCOME of bad eating and minimal exercise...I feel sluggish, lazy, and tired. I MISS my clean eating and energizing work outs!!! 

Better yet, I'm ready to start my Sunday back on target because I've learned I feel better when I make healthy choices. To always being able to learn. 

Day 26. Fun Friday.

Tommy Hilfiger Size 9 1/2, Spring Season 2013

Yay to Shoes! I'm one of those gals that LOVES shoes. I figured out it is also the best reward system for me. I used to reward myself with food and treats after I accomplished a goal. I have found new rewards like shoes (more pairs than usual), a massage or some new experience I want to try.  

The shoes in the pic above were calling my name the first time I went to Marshall's but they did not have my size. I went back a couple weeks later and found them in clearance section in size 9 1/2. I'm a size 10. I tried them on and THEY FIT! I tried on another pair, (the brown shoes on my 08/07 post), in a 9 1/2 and they fit too! I'm not sure if this means weight loss is causing foot shrinkage OR I just got lucky!

With regards to work outs, I finally got back to it last night.  I really enjoyed it and felt great afterwards. I am unsure of how the work outs will go this weekend since it is my wedding anniversary getaway weekend. A true breakthrough will occur if I exercise during the getaway. I will be sure to post if I do! To fun filled active days.

Day 25. Tips Thursday. But first I must inform you...

Tri-Tip Salad with grilled portabello mushroom, baked potato

with 1 tablespoon of butter and 1 tablespoon of sour cream.

One lemon lime mojito and one skinny strawberry margarita (not in picture).

...that I'm not perfect. I celebrated. I'm comfortable. I didn't work out. I'm falling back to old behavior. Wait, wait, I'm just being dramatic. I had a few slacker days because I was sick and yes, I'm comfy. But I'm not stopping. I'm still on track. This blog is also not about feeling guilty. Guilt will only lead to unproductive shaming behavior. Instead I focus on the positive and small changes I'm making. 

For example, the meal above was my "splurge" meal because I added the baked potato and the cocktails. I ACTUALLY wanted a salad and I became super excited when I saw the tri-tip salad on the menu! It was filling and I could have stopped there but I wanted something for dessert afterwards. I found a healthy alternative at a stand in the farmers market. 

Zia Valentina, a granitas bar with a non-dairy stevia sweetened coffee ice drink. It tasted similar to iced coffee and, according to the staff is 90 calories for a 6 oz. cup. 

This also leads me to another "special edition" inspiration, Tip Thursdays.  I will start to include different tips on Thursdays.  I've included an article from Get Well Magazine for today's special edition (click on image to enlarge). The MYTH about, "To successfully diet, it's all or nothing," applied tonight. I stuck to the changes I've made about eating half, or eating more veggies. I did it without hesitation. In the past, I would have ordered the complete tri-tip meal with endless rolls and a few more cocktails. Instead I focused on implemeting some of my new behaviors. To good choices.

Day 24. Nine Years Ago.

Outfit Details.
Dress size 2x from Torrid Summer Season 2013.
Sweater size 2x from Torrid Summer Season 2012.
Shoes Franco Sarto Summer Season 2013.

Today I weight exactly what I weighed on my wedding day, 258 pounds. It is not skinny, it is not fit but it is the weight I'm comfortable in. Strange I know. 

Does this change the goal? No. Does this mean I would have preferred to be another size on my wedding day? Not sure. All I know is that I am the smallest I've been in 9 years and its an awesome way to celebrate my nuptials and recent accomplishment. 

My husband and I will not be celebrating our anniversary today since he is out if town on business. Instead we will go away for the weekend. So tonight I will work out. The first work out since Saturday. I'm really looking forward to it. :D

Day 23. Inspiration for Recipe Tuesday.

Tonight I started to work after browsing for a few minutes on the internet. I lost track of time and it was late and I was huuuuungry, yes that hungry. I have some homemade cookies in the house which tempted me to simply think, "forget it, I'm sick, I'm going for it!!! 3 cookies and milk for dinner." I walked to the frig and thought, "well, I actually want a steak. I don't have steak." Before I knew it I talked through the motions of healthy alternatives:

1. 3 chocolate fudge cookies with milk became;
2. One ham sandwich with two slices,heavy on the mayo became;
3. 1/2 ham sandwich,light mayo and add mustard. Add greens in the sandwich and a salad on the side.
4. Oh, and add sliced almonds and that new salad dressing I just bought. Raspberries for an added tart taste.

Voila my dinner. Yes, I know it's not a culinary accomplishment BUT, it is a large improvement over the first "meal" I thought of having. A late dinner also resulted in my blog "special edition". As of today I will start to have Dinner Tuesday's. This will include simple or long, healthy or alternative meals. I will redeem myself next Tuesday. I hope.

Now I say goodnight with a warm cup of Tina's Tea, my mothers home remedy concoction. And yes, one cookie (160 calories).

     

Day 22. Results and Rest.

Yes, I am noticing results. The loose clothing and ongoing compliments are not enough. I want more, and by more I mean numbers. Below are my stats:

Current Weight: 259.7
Weight on 7/16: 263
Weight on 6/26: 269.2

Current Fat Percentage: 40.3%
Fat Percentage on 07/01: 46%

I have not worked out since Saturday. I am currently sick with a cold/flu so I pushed myself on Saturday after skipping two work-outs during the week. Well, I should have continued to rest instead because now I'm worse. I decided to rest on Sunday and I'm playing today by ear. I shall soon find out.

The upside: I'm feeling great about my results. I'm going to continue to push myself but I'm allowing my body to go through the motions of a cold/flu. To better health.

Day 18. Focus

I've planned out as much as I can. There are plans that may need to be changed and that's okay. I am learning that is important to plan and be flexible. Planning is key to success but sometimes life throws a curve ball. Flexibility allows me to switch and change my work out if the schedule doesn't work. 

And my focus, my focus allows me to push through it. Just as I'm ready to give up, or to eat that one thing I think, "no, focus". Yes, slip ups will occur but I would like to keep them as far and few between. 

My goal has reached a high level of importance and this time its going to happen. I can easily call it the hardest challenge of my life. It can be daunting but I also view it as totally possible. 

Day 14...but wait what happened to day 13?

Friday night was a sinful night. Full of fun and sinful calorie rich food. The upside is I worked out on Sat. Morn before my day filled of multiple parties.

Then came the parties and I was "okay" until the cabana party!!! They had the best tapas, cocktails and I broke my 17 days of no sugary treats and desserts! I had cake! It was delicious. I enjoyed every bite and ate it very slowly. 

Am I feeling guilty for what I ate? No but I know I need to get back on track and the sluggish way I'm feeling now is no doubt a consequence of bad eating. I completed today's work out and I'm ready for this week salad lunches! 

Day 12. But please more...zzzzzz

I wanted to sleep. I did not want to work out but I remembered tonight's concert plans don't allow for an evening work out. I got up a bit later and cut out my yoga and gym routine. 

Instead I worked out to core rhythms at home. I burned 926 calories making it above the goal. Yay to me and to this happy Friday! 

Day 11. Early rising.

This is the second time this week where I wake up to what I call a "back to back". I worked out last night for oversleeping but I really prefer an early work out like the one I'm about to start.

First, am yoga then I drive to the gym for an hour to an hour and 20 minutes of cardio. Let the fun begin! 

-----------

I added a snap shot of my work out upon completion. :D

Day 10. Awakening

Obstacles and excuses will always exist. Life is a continuum of events that can easily lead to failure or success. Today I chose success. I followed the plan and when I had an opportunity to do otherwise I said no.

-no to the last minute invitation to the bar. 

-no to the temptation of just lounging on my mothers front porch. 

-no to going to watch a movie with a friend. 

-most importantly: no to my old ways of stopping when it gets to be too much, too hard or too different.

I have waken from my slumber and the love I have for my self is stronger than ever. For I can truly admire and love the woman I've become. I will continue to mature and grow into this beautiful person. The feeling is overwhelmingly exciting and joyous. 

It is me. Only me.

Day 9. Day of Sharing. Day of Recuperation.

It is finally time to share myself completely. There is no point of hiding who I am for there is no shame in who I am. On day 9 of my current regime I breakdown. I find myself questioning areas of my life. There is self-doubt and insecurity about my future. There was no physical work-out but there was plenty of mental and emotional feelings that needed to be sorted.

Part of the outcome was deciding to close certain social accounts like facebook to free my time and focus. There is nothing to gain from checking my status multiple times a day. Instead I will spend my energy writing about my transition. For being healthy is currently my number one priority; emotional, physical and mental health are all equally important. To better days.

Say bye bye to the Loosy Goosy Days and hello...

...to the tutti fruity days!!! I'm going strong with my challenges and pushing myself as hard as I can.

I have set a few new goals including:

• burning at least 700 calories during cardio a day.
• eating one salad a day.
• no desserts, candy bars etc. unless it is truly desired e.g. during menstruating days.
• if someone invites me to work out, say YES.

 I have been doing a lot of stretching and dancing as additional activity for the day. It is not a whole lot of structure but it is enough to keep me focused.

I'm happy. I'm proud. Most of all I'm feeling tutti fruity working hard and playing hard!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dbEhBKGOtY

Working through it

The fun has just begun. I'm staying active and I'm doing what feels right for my body. So far I have lost 6lbs. I couldn't be happier but I'm getting close to my danger zone. It is when I usually stop for fear of what is next. Fear of a certain type of appearance and the followed attention.

This time it is different. I am working through it because in the end what I really want is to be healthy.

Stats: 263
Work-out so far: At least one hour of activity a day.
New work-out goal: Burn at least 700 calories a day.

Day 1.

My challenge begins with more structure.

I did it...even when I didn't wanna because...

----I feel good, proud and über excited because I'm SO committed to doing it this time around. 

Weight

I weighed my self yesterday and I'm at 269.2. I will measure myself this weekend. XD I'm also on day 3 of working it (walking for an hour). 

The Joyful Return

I continue the journey. I have not weighed myself in some time but expect to be around the same weight. Instead I'm starting to blog to record this free and enlightened feeling brought on by the completion of school. There are still other issues which arise and I work through them. Just like I will work through my largest challenge, my weight. 

I push forward with my freedom outfit. :)