Training Tuesday

Knee

I went to the doctor to view my MRI results. I am in need of physical therapy to strengthen my knees but he expects complete recovery on my right knee. My left knee will get stronger with time but it will always be inflamed with use. The doc. also indicated I can return to my normal activity but to keep in mind I will be in pain, always. It will just be a matter of how much I can tolerate. 

Exercise

So here we go. Back to my normal routine and ready to rumble. 

Tues: circuit training & yoga

Wed: indoor cycling & circuit training

Thur: hiking, yoga & circuit training

Fri: hiking

Sat: circuit training

Sun: circuit training

Mon: circuit training & hiking

Mindset

Yesterday I went off the rails. I usually just want to escape when I do not like what I hear. Yes, it is not bad considering. I just needed a moment to be with me and figure out what is next. 

Move forward

I woke up with a sprint in my step and I'm ready to move.

Motivation Monday

The people who surround me and I have the same mindset about health and fitness. They often motivate me.

FOOD

Food is my largest obstacle. It has been a way to soothe pain and mask sadness. It allows me to escape to a different place with a bite. Or so I thought.

SATURDAY

I had my cheat meal for lunch. It was more of cheat items; sweet potato fries and chocolate gelato. I was content and was sure I was going to be able to manage the rest of the weekend.

SUNDAY

We went to the Santa Anita race track and sat in the lounge that offered free buffet.  I was making all the right choices;  carrot and celery sticks,  no alcohol,  salad but then came the wings. I had 6 total and my stomach was in pain.

I thought that was enough but oh no it was hot so I had a cherry icee and later a chocolate shake. This is where it all shifted for me. 2 sips into my shake. I realized I did not want it. Better yet I did not like it. It was no longer providing that joyful feeling I associated with chocolate shakes. Instead I was feeling the uncomfortable feeling of over doing it.

Aftermath

My largest motivator in life is my health. Eating certain things occasionally is okay. Going beyond the occasional taste/bite is just ludacris when I know it's going to impact me negatively in the long run.

The best part is I have complete freedom over what I did and did  not fall into the pattern of negative self-talk. Instead I chose to stop because of the heightened level of self-love.

Here is to a beautiful Monday full of love and self-care. Make good choices.

SUNDAY WORKDAY

The 5k conditioning series had their 12 week completion today. 

The July series is open for new and existing participants. 

Come and join us if you want to get the ball rolling. 

Below is a H.I.I.T. workout you can follow at home! 

Now get going...oh and yes have fun while you 

WORK It!

Sweet Saturday

Exercise

I started my morning with a lazy step. I pushed myself to workout and completed #theworkout in great spirits. Like always, once I am done with the sucker I'm happy. I worked on my arms, legs, and abs. The coach was focused and so were we.

Weight Watchers

I went to my first weight watchers meeting in months. I was hesitant because the gain I claimed and owned on social media wasn't on record with weight watchers. Yes, it is recorded in pics, on the diet bet, in social media but something about weight watchers makes it, oh so "official".

Mindset

My immediate stories and "sadness" kicked in but the topic for the meeting was on point. It was about Vision. Then I thought about all the people who encourage me through this journey. The details I share with readers and my ultimate mission. There is no time for a pity party here. Just keep going I say.

Breakfast

After the meeting I made sure to keep my mind positive and not give in to cravings of hash browns, ham steaks and pancakes. I was already going to work so I figured I'll get my veggie omelet with avocado and the beans for the local cafe. It always hits the spot. I also ordered some mangos for this sweet sweet Saturday.

Vision

Keep it clear and sunny because life is beautiful.

Namaste.

Remain coachable

YAY!

I'm starting week 3 of diet bet and I'm 51% there! I have 14 days to loose 4.8 lbs. Keeping track of my meals has helped a great deal. I will be honest in saying there have been occasions when I take the pic, start eating and then...add a second serving, whether it is a scoop, a spoon or a taste...I am going to start taking pics. Not to be rigid but to truly reflect everything that is going into my body. 

Activity

I only complete 5 workouts this week. This is pretty slow for me and I find myself dragging during the workouts. I find myself going through the motions with less UMPH. I am still doing the best I can and logging them as I go. 

Meals

This is where I am most focused now. I practice mindful eating and have follow restrictive-eating a few times. I just make sure I get back on the horse as quickly as possible. Sometimes even before the meal is out. I usually share all of my meals on facebook and instagram but I am posting them all here so you can see what helped me loose 2.6 lbs this week.

Have a great Friday and remember...it is not about how long it takes. It is about enjoying the ride and being healthy.

True Thursday

There will be meals where you make a bad choice. Don't let it discourage you. Simply pick up where you left off.

Yesterdays bad choice. Chips and salsa at the Mexican Restaurant. I did well half-way through the meal and then I cracked (or should I say crunch? ). Then I had beans and cheese but stopped there and avoided the flan and cheesecake. 2 out of 4. Hooray!

I spent my night and morning going through old albums. It used to be painful to see some of those pictures. But it also brought back several memories, including not shying away from photos as much as I thought I did. I have many more pictures then I originally thought. I never looked at them afterwards and hid the albums. All this time I thought they were at my mothers...NOPE they were in my house!

In some ways it helped to see the pics. I thought,  girl look at where you have been and now you know where you want to be. It is a journey and today is a new day so get up and go.

Here's a pic a found of Elaine and I. You can see how far I have come. Make good choices.

Wonderful Wednesday

Another Medical Gown that FIT!!!
No doubles here!!!

I've been going along with what people offer. I've been going along with invites and attending when possible. I open myself up to positive people and manage my reactions around negative ones.

It has led me to a great space of happy. It has opened me up to things like free clothes, new relationships and better old ones.

MEALS
I'm practicing mindful eating and I'm seeing results. My mind is set on living free of medicine. I placed another bet on Diet Bet for the transformation round.  You too can place a bet and join me by clicking on this  Diet Bet link. I find it is keeping me motivated. There is nothing like making some CHA-CHING while I loose weight.

EXERCISE
I've slowed down but still exercise once a day 5-6 days a week. There have been no double work-outs since my last visit to the doc. I am cautious of my knee and allowing the process to take its course. Today I'm getting my MRI so I will soon know how to proceed. 

All is well in this wonderful Wednesday. 

Recipe Tuesday

Having a variety of meals and recipes helps me keep up with "free-eating". I know it is important for me and helps me eliminate boredom eating. When I do not switch it up and fall into familiar or frequent foods I start to stray.

There are other emotional components,  like yesterday, when I reached for bread sticks and an ice cream sandwich.  --- I caught myself falling into a binge and stopped before it got worse. I instead started to stretch and meditate about what I was feeling. Being mindful is key. I  don't want to gain weight. I have worked hard for this 3.5 lb loss I've had in 12 days.

So back to the recipe: 

GREEN BEANS Cool & Hot Salad

4 cups of green beans (cooked but still crunchy (about 6-7 minutes. Then cooled in ice water)
1/2 purple cabbage (shredded)
1 cup of sliced mushrooms
3 green onions (thinly sliced)
1 roasted red pepper (thinly sliced)
1 Serrano pepper (thinly sliced)
Lemon juice from one lemon (to taste)
2 tbs of lemon zest

Mix all of the ingredients in a bowl and add pepper to taste. Voila!

I used the left over salad the next day and zapped it a few seconds. It was a good warm side veggie dish and tasted different.  Remember you can always add or remove stuff in order to switch it up.

Items you can add the next time or switch out with some of the current veggies for a different taste. If you do this keep the red cabbage, green bean, and lemon base. 

Garbanzo beans
Pine nuts
Bell peppers

Walnuts
Pearl onions
Green apple

We got this!

Motivational Monday

Keep going.

Sunday funday!

Happy fathers day to all the pops. Ill post more some other time.

Here is a HIIT workout to follow for now.

Sweet Saturday

Started with a beach workout this morning then drove to Chatsworth to pick-up some clothes. An old schoolmate offered a bunch of clothes and I said, Yes!

It was nice to reconnect and I went with  the unexpected including showering at her place and changing in front of someone who is not my husband. It was a huge breakthrough and she didn't even know it. It was all perfect and her style was a complete match to mine! Same type of cuts and prints I would choose.

I'm thankful for this process and the kind people around me. April you rock girl!! Kudos to you for your weight loss too!!!

Okay gotta run! Keep it fresh and sweet y'all!

Remain Coachable

I have been an open book. Displaying good and bad choices for a week. Last Friday I mentioned how I was practicing what I preach and being mindful about what I eat. In some ways I am coaching myself by making myself accountable and then getting up quickly with positive self-talk.

Weight Loss

I started the Diet Bet last Thursday by Sunday I was down 2.5 pounds. This was after a day of unplanned meals on Saturday. I did not prep snacks, or breakfast knowing I was going to do a 5k. When I went out for breakfast I ate 1/2 of a machaca plate telling myself it was not "that bad" and the trend continued with dinner.

Then Sunday came around...I got on the scale, "a loss?" --- Disneyland was a bust. I started my morning with good choices but by mid-day I was starving and eating those, oh not so good things; mickey mouse ice cream bar, a lil bit of popcorn, a lil bit of churro, a lil bit of turkey leg, a lil bit of cake. Then I said, "STOP!" -  I said no more lil tastes and I made sure to add a salad and green beans to the meal I shared with Jose <clear throat> FRIED CHICKEN thigh!

By Monday morning I was up to where I started. BAMN!

Determination

I made a plan for Monday. I started to observe this is a yes, this is a no. When the girls went for a Starbucks run I joined them on the walk but ordered nothing. When I knew I had a busy day...I planned my snacks ahead of time. When they offered chocolate, I said, NO GRACIAS!

Yesterday's meals were off and reviewing it last night I thought, tomorrow I will have more fruit and salad. I will make good choices.

Commitment

I am committed to breaking the "restrictive-eating" trend  and practicing "free-eating" this weekend. I am also adding a mindset switch by creating my own definition for each term:

Restrictive-Eating : Foods that restrict me from being a healthy me. Foods that impair my weight loss and stop my weight loss progress. Foods that restrict my movement. These foods include french fries, cake, onion rings, ice-cream etc.

Free-Eating : Foods that nourish my body and provide free living. They allow me to be free of medication, free of ailments and allow me to move freely. They provide freedom. These foods include vegetables, fruits...power foods.

The Exception

I will allow one meal/event where I will eat what there is without guilt or worry. This week it is my bosses party on Saturday. I will not over indulge but simply eat until I am comfortable (half-full). Drink until I am satisfied.

Self-Love

I invite you to practice some self-love this weekend. Do something nice for yourself and create beauty no matter what you may be facing. Much love to you.

Namaste.

True Thursday

People often ask me, "What made you want to do it?" 

There is no simple answer, or is there? It was the feeling of I'm to young to die. I'm to young feel this way. The true cruel reality of diabetes and high blood pressure. I had to make a change.

A 100 lb. lost was a big change for me and part of it was daunting. Not recognizing myself.  Receiving unwanted attention. Seeing myself for who I am.

The cementing turning point.

After dealing with my feelings. After providing myself with the space "to be" it came down to   this.My aunt is ill. She is 57 and requires dialysis because of her diabetes. She requires a double bypass surgery. She is the third to youngest of my seven aunts. All of which have diabetes.
       

Cruel Reality.
If I do not continue with my weight loss goals. I will fall back. I have to make a change. When things got real about health my mind was set. It all became second nature, again.

My freedom is more important than my fear. I accept change.It is a process. It is work.Work I am willing to do.
          I read positive affirmations.
          I meditate.
          I practice self-love.
          All things that lead to a better me.

I practice the power of choice.

         This cookie or my life. Choose.
         This slice of cake or my life. Choose.
                   
The statements keep me focused on self-love. It empowers me to choose vs. feel obligated.
It is not an exaggeration, it is the truth. Seeing relatives live with limitations and dependency on medication makes it real.

My Mission.

To be a pioneer and show the younger generations in my family we do not have to fall into this cycle.
To inspire the older generations and see they do not have to live with diabetes. They too can make a change.
To inspire people who think they cannot do it.
             Get up and Go.
                           
                    And if you fall, get up and Go                                                  

                                             AGAIN!

#sisepuede

       

WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY

Training has been difficult for me to get to these days. My body does not feel the same but yesterday I showed up with my "I'm a lover and a fighter" t -shirt ready to play.  I was off my game but kept pushing.

Acknowledgement of the tee from other gym mates always gets me going too.  Like I need to prove I can fight hard! So I did.

Meals were on point!

Breakfast: Greek yogurt, 1 hard boiled egg, and one slice of wheat toast.
Snack:  banana and almonds.
Lunch: steak salad. Red cabbage,  broccoli, zucchini, green onions, radishes, cilantro,carrots and shredded carne asada.
Snack: 1/2 cup of mixed fruit salad. Strawberries, pineapple, and cantelope.
Dinner: Turkey soft tacos with pinto beans and green salad. Turkey meat was cooked with lots if veggies to up vegetable intake. I used whole wheat tortillas for the soft tacos.

I am also meditating two times a day to get my mind on the game. I have avoided sweets for two days. I don't miss it. I am at peace.

Have a great day!

Training Tuesday

Meals we're better yesterday.  I'm focused on making good choices. I know that is the only way I will loose weight.

Activity was nonexistent yesterday.  I went to get my knee checked and I have a couple more visits to go before diagnosis. Doc said to go light before then. So the workout schedule I created for June with double work outs is out the door. I will do one workout per day and post regular updates. 

I encourage you to create a routine too. Here is a HIIT workout you could do from home.

Motivational Monday

Keep going.  

I cannot emphasize the importance of shaking it off and moving forward. This is key and what keeps me going. I cannot focus on what I have not done.  Instead I focus on the positive so I want to keep going in the face of it all.

While at Disneyland yesterday I was happy and the weight loss impact was on my mind. It was one of those,  oh yeah days!

My Top 6 

A-has!

1. I was able to fit through the little doorways and windows in toon town. 

2. I was able to walk through the Tarzan House without being out of breath. 

3. I fit comfortably in rides without hesitation of being able to get up or sit down. 

4. I did not have to turn sideways and squeeze through the spin wheel at every ride. This was HUGE for me! Every ride had a reminder and it made me smile when I would fit with space on the sides!!! LoL

5. The moment when everyone was thirsty and we were in line:  I jumped over  a wooden partition to get out and ran came back my party was just getting to the switch point. Jose asks , that's how you got out too?!?! With complete surprise of my abilities. 

6. I completed circuit training the morning of AND then went to Disneyland. No problem.

As you embark on your journey show yourself some love and acknowledge your accomplishments. Little things make a big dif!

Here's to a happy Monday!

Sunday Funday

Well it's a wrap...oh wait the day is just starting!!! I've got a  busy day at Disneyland. I've also got a day of bad choices behind me.

Today will be a meal/food challenge and I'm up for it.

1. I can resist foods that do not benefit my body. 

 
2. Fun does not have to be associated with food. 

3. Being healthy is a priority.

So I start my day by working out with the coach and releasing guilt over yesterday.

Here we go!!! 

Double day post

I had a great time at the 5k. There we're moments when I jogged and played with my ability to keep going.

There we're other moments when I was just happy to feel like, I can do this.

I am so grateful for what life has to offer. Blessed.

Sweet Saturday

Diet Bet

Yesterday was day 1 of the diet bet. I resisted cravings and did "okay" with my meals. Oatmeal, spinach salad w/tuna, Greek yogurt and almonds as a snack and grilled turkey, ham and cheese sandwich and salad for dinner. That's where the "okay" part came in.

I avoided the chocolate,  my chai tea latte fix and the krispy kreme doughnuts on the counter.

I focused on how I can do this. I can resist foods that do not benefit my body.

Activity

Yoga as always was perfect. Laisha blossoms when leading yoga. I am truly grateful for being able to host this in my home.

Today I'm doing the color run...couple style because by the time some of Los Game Changers wanted to sign up it was sold out. Here's to good times with my man!

Remain coachable

I've shared plenty during the last couple of weeks.  I've been sharing more about the journey. Opening up more about the past. There has been an overall shift for me in acceptance.

I may be criticized. I may be viewed differently --- and all of that is okay with me because I have gained a new level of acceptance for myself. I've been paying attention to my own write-ups and practicing what I preach. I may very well inspire others with my candid and open approach. I openly display weight loss is non-linear. It is a process that will take time for some while others may speed by. It requires determination and will. 

When the day does not work out. If I make a bad choice. I get up and try again. I've been practicing self-reflection and identifying what holds me back and what other emotional baggage is weighing me down. There is different relationship with shame.

It has all led me to this moment where I just own who I am. This self-reflection mode was perfect for what it was but now it's time to get dirty! --- Let's loose some weight y'all!  I got a bet to win!

Keep pushing. Keep going...and remain coachable.

True Thursday

The process is as hard or easy as we make it. Yes there are outside forces and occurrences we cannot avoid. But in the end it is what we will do in light of those trials that will make all the dif.

FACTS.
I have not worked out since Saturday.
I feel bloated and like a rolly Polly.
I start to feel down.
I talk myself into feeling good.
I tell myself this shall pass.

Today's Action
I will do at least 20 minutes of activity today.
I will eat oatmeal for breakfast.
I will eat a spinach salad for lunch.

What is your mission today? Did you fall of the horse? Well saddle up and figure out 3 positive things you will do for yourself today! Heck just choose one if three sounds like to many. Have the courage to take the steps even though you don't know where it will lead you.

Trust yourself and stay magical.

Wonderful Wedesday

I needed to disconnect and rest. I planned for my training schedule which I did not follow due to a flu on Monday and Tuesday.

I was making myself wrong but then read the four agreements and all was well.  

Keep your spirits high and your head up higher. Namaste.

Training Schedule Tuesday

Here it is ... The June Workout Schedule.

I am concerned about a few things like my knee and the new classes I will be attending. I figure I will not know until I try so I'm going for it. I am also going to finally go get an MRI. There are a few large motivators so I figure the time is right.

1. I'm getting blood work done in a couple months.
2. The hubby and I are going to the Caribbean for our anniversary in August.
3. I'm doing a half-marathon in October - 18 weeks!
4. I'm doing the tough mudder in November - 21 weeks!
5. I love me!

So come on and circle some days to see what you will be doing to up your game! Check out the Exercises tab for some easy starting pointers and variations in activity. Go play!

Motivational Monday

Whenever I start a new challenge,  routine or group activity I get discouraged when I don't complete it the way I was "supposed" to. I get upset and then I eat the foods that are only going to make it worse.

This time it was different. I acknowledge my pattern. I know that during the 8 week intensive I gave each workout my best but ate clean 40% of the time. I know that will not give me the results I desire.

In fact I often self-disclose when people ask about my weight loss. I will say, I don't always eat clean and that's why I'm no longer loosing weight. I can acknowledge I have been in this "waiting room" for oh, 6-9 months. You could say its the gestation period for a new me.

Well slap me on the Fanny 'cause I'm ready. I accept it is not a linear process. I accept new and old people in my life. I am okay with being uncomfortable. I am okay with sharing all of me.

I invite you to start this new era with me. Whatever you haven't done or did wrong let it go. Then just start now. If you find you are not ready...try again. Better yet check what is missing for you internally and accept the process. Most of all accept you. Your faults, your beauty... all of you. Then forgive yourself and love yourself to health.  

Step by step... you will get there. 

Namaste.

Sunday Snooze Day

Today was lady #2 which means I was down and out. It was a different pace from most of my week but an opportunity to recharge. It also allows me to reflect about all of the great things that are happening.

1. I saw an old friend during the week who motivated to stay focused.
2. I met new contacts who provided new insights in my industry.
3. I spoke to an old colleague who provided a new prospective about my long-terms goals.
4. I completed #theworkout series and while I did not meet any of my original goals I reached a new level of acceptance for myself.
5. I joined a new gym.
6. I bumped into an old colleague who thanked me for sharing myself through my blog.

Workouts

I completed 60% of the planned workouts. Which means I completed AM & PM workouts through Wednesday. By Thursday I was beat and made it to one hour workout daily through Saturday.

I have yet to create this weeks structure but plan to incorporate at least two gym visits by the end of the week. I will not post a commitment today since I am waiting on a friend to plan our workouts.

Meals

Meals were good through Thursday ... then it flopped. Sugar cravings got real and I caved in by Friday. I will continue to post more through the week.

Here's to keeping it going.

Sweet Saturday

I've had a busy and productive Saturday. I have much to share. Let's just say I'm feeling all of the benefits from yesterdays yoga session.

 

Feeling blessed. Namaste.

 

Remain Coachable

Once we take on the attitude of we have learned it all, or "we know it already", we cease improvement. Listening to everything as if it were "new" allows us to expand our vision. This is key because once we boast about how much we know the arrogance impedes our development.

This has been key for me this week. I have been in my field for many years. I, after listening to many lectures,  realize how much I know. But I went into each session with a specific listening, "this is all new to me." It allowed me to stay alert and pick up on a few key elements. I have learned key ways to improve upon what I am doing. 

I am applying this concept to my weight loss journey. I cannot continue to do the same thing or act like, "oh yea, I've done this already." What helped me loose the first 80 may not help now. Simply because I need to learn new ways of eating, exercise to improve on the overall methods of weight loss. I remain coachable.

HERE'S TO KEEPING AN OPEN MIND AND LISTENING TO THE NEW.

True Thursday

I want to be true to someone I met for lunch yesterday. We discussed all of the different things I'm up to and I shared my blog with him. It is a great way for him to keep up with me since he is not on social media. He also made a good point...I don't have a lot of my creations on my blog. So here we go.

I create and manage 4 different series/events to offer people with new ways to become active.

1. I have a yoga workshop which runs for 6 weeks at a time. The group consists of 8 people and the cost is $72. for 6 - 1.5 hour sessions. We are currently in week 2 of the workshop. I will post information about the next workshop in good time.

2. The 5k conditioning series is a 12 week program set-up in 3 week sets  with a weekly break for the monthly hiking trip. The 3 week sets also allows people who are starting to workout with short term goal. People do not have to participate in 5k's to be in the series. A new set is starting this Sunday.  There are still 3 spots open on the second team.

3. The hiking trips are not a part of a series but I create the events as a compliment to training. It is also a good opportunity for people to get a view the different hiking trails in so.Cal. It is highly recommended for anyone participating on the TM to come out and hike.

4. The last series I have created and will begin next month. It is the Tough Mudder (TM) series. This is a series was created specifically for those participating in the TM on 11/01 in Temecula. Completion of the 5k beginner series is highly recommended since participation in the TM series requires a fitness test.

I will continue to post regular updates about the various programs, series and events for those interested.

Have a great day and make a small change today.

Wonderful Wednesday

This post is also out of the norm since  I can only write some of Elaine's weight loss tips from memory. These are the tips I recall about healthy eating, meal planning and activity.

Her words that are embedded in my memory:

1. Always pack a lunch. I make salads on Sundays and seal vac them so they rain fresh all week.

2. It is okay to eat out for lunch once a week. You can keep the calories low but if you go nuts, cause we all do sometimes, eat a light dinner.

3. Start slow but start somewhere. You think I like doing stairs?

4. Always go exercise when someone invites you. You may not want to but if you go every time someone invites you, well you have someone there with you.

5. Just do it.

Workout Tryout

Training mode to me usually includes trying a new workout weekly to determine where I am fitness wise. The challenge can sometimes encourage or discourage me.

I did the sportskool cardio combat 1, 28 min. video. It was one of those I watched last month while I was sick. 

It started out with a ball sequence,  then a few Kickboxing combos and finally a stick sequence. The video was okay. I give it a 3 of 5 star rating.

I felt like quitting a few times because there was a high volume of lunges and leg rotations so my knee was a concern. I would get frustrated and a bit discouraged but I kept going.

In the end, I did not sweat as much as I did with  yesterdays workouts . I know it was probably because I did not push hard during certain parts of the sequence due to knee concerns. 

I will definitely try this again once I feel confident about my abilities just to compare fitness level. 

For now I will continue with my other planned activities to continue with knee rehab.

Here's to trying new things and pushing forward.

Motivation Monday

It is easy to get comfortable. It is easy to fall into excuse mode, "my knee hurts so I can't push hard". Then there is that other convo, "but I'm having fun". 

Well, how fun is it when you have to take medication 2 - 3 times a day. 

Better yet, how much fun is it when you huff and puff up a flight of stairs. 

I still do the latter, but I'm not going to get any better by taking it easy. 

I have the train hard to matter what mindset. I am mentally ready.

Workout

Yesterday I wrote about what I was going to do. This morning at 4:30A when my alarm went off I was ready to snooze. I went to the restroom and I was starting to talk myself into going back to bed. Then I saw therock's IG pic... 3:50?!?! DAMN! 

I thought about the rocks body and then I said, "yep you're doing this!"

I ended the intended routine; Yoga (20), PiYo (23) and Bike (20). PiYo and Yoga are logged as one since there is no PiYo in the tracker. PiYo is a combo of Pilates, Yoga and Cardio. It is fast paced and makes me sweat like crazy 5 minutes in. 

Do it

If you have a goal.If you said you would start.

Just do it because the feeling afterwards is SATISFYING!

YOU GOT THIS!

Monthly Feature - Inspiration Cycle

June 2015

Elaine.
My Reminder.

This months inspirational feature is different. The featured person is someone who is no longer with us but deserves a special homage for the ways she inspired me. Elaine was my boss. She was not liked by many and many feared her. I on the other hand, had no friction with Elaine. I understood why it was difficult for others to relate or interact with her. I chose to make my life easy and instead find ways I could relate to her. 

She was a self-taught Assistant Vice-President. She had climbed the corporate ladder with plenty of hard work and self-taught knowledge. There was no doubt she was intelligent. She was a vegetarian who committed to a certain type of diet based on an aunt passing at a young age from colon cancer. She was not the healthiest vegetarian and she figured it out a few years before her 40th birthday. She started to make changes and lost approx. 60-80 lbs. She often encouraged me to join her and I would sometimes reluctantly do the stairs with her. I would at times imitate her meals. I am clear now it was not my time. I was not mentally ready because I had a "block". 

I soon found out Elaine had that same "block" but she worked with it. She too was a survivor of sexual abuse as a child and adolescent. She was not shy about her past and had no problem speaking about her abuser and therapy she endured. At times I would hear people in the office say, "oh it all makes sense". A stigma I feared and had no courage to speak out about. I once shared my "shameful" past with her. I shared how it stopped me and how it was the root of so much fear. She shared she had the same fears and figured out she had not lost weight because of the fear. Elaine and her words stuck with me. She said, "It is time to loose weight. I am doing this because they took my childhood away but they will not take my adulthood too". I clearly remember the look in her eyes; the hurt, the pain but most of all the determination to live life fully. She continued to provide knowledge about healthy eating, career development and the importance of an education . She inspired me with her drive to keep going no matter what was in the horizon.

Elaine lived for a couple years after her weight loss victory. She unfortunately was diagnosed with cancer and lost her battle about 11 months after diagnosis. It was hard for me during the last 6-8 months of her life. I wrote her regularly and our frequent home calls and visits became infrequent as her health deteriorated. I still remember the look in her eyes, telling me she was not giving up a couple months before she passed. While I shared much with her I do not think she knew how much I cared. I never got the opportunity to thank her for planting the seed. Her statement, "I am doing this because they took my childhood away but they will not take my adulthood too", is one that has stuck with me in a lot of what I do. 

I enrolled in school the Spring Elaine was diagnosed. When I went back to school afraid of being in a classroom, of meeting strangers, of walking late at night...I thought about her. When she passed in the following Winter, I wanted to quit but remembered her determination and strong spirit. As soon as I graduated I knew it was time to take my first steps towards weight loss. I started slowly and when I took my first steps on the park track afraid of the strangers around me... I thought about her. Today as I sit here with a knot in my stomach about shedding the next hundred pounds, well I think about her. While I may have triggers; I do not have that same type of fear. I no longer carry that shame about my past. I have allowed forgiveness to take over my heart and, I live each day fully. Openly and Lovingly.

Thank you Elaine. Thank you for contributing so much to my life. For creating a platform where I learn to love myself for who I am regardless of my past. For creating a safe haven where my past was not shameful. Most of all for making me focus on the present instead of what happened in my past. May you rest in peace Elainey.